Basking In the Glow

Solar Medicine: Adoration As Block Buster

Blessed and Happy Sunday!

The last month and especially the last week have reminded me in new ways of the importance of grounding, surrender, and maybe most important: self love. Love as a discipline, as devotion, as a practice and respite. Love for the self that is rooted in friendship with self, with awe, love that recognizes the divinity within. Do you believe in yourself? Do you tell yourself that your dreams are possible? Yesterday as I sat in meditation at the park, I found a new visualization to use accompanied by a thought about feeding our own flames in a healthy way. If we look at our own spirits as a flame, as a fire that processes and transmutes, that warms and powers, then it becomes easy to recognize the importance of keeping the fire healthy.

I was sitting at the park in surrender. It was a gray day, I had spent the last couple hours driving between the city and another area and getting nowhere, roses on the passenger seat I had meant for family resting places. In the most recent move I’ve misplaced my obituaries and notes, so it’s a temporary frustration but it felt major yesterday. I kept asking “where do I go?” “What do I do?” It’s another one of those times in my life where I can feel myself transforming. It’s almost always a very lucid thing for me, to feel the mechanisms of myself and reality shifting. It’s like knowing a transit is exact or getting a mental warning right before a cramp hits, and then also seeing the way the cramp actively contracts the muscle all while feeling it. I digress. Different circumstances had me feeling wobbly on my block this week, and I wanted to go weep to my Dead. I wanted to bring them things I had failed to bring before some changes occurred, and just to sit. Underneath those true and valid desires though was the real root. I wanted to be accepted in spaces I felt were failures or be reminded somewhere of who I am, or that I am okay. I don’t need the cemetery to spend time with my folks, to wail or weep. I talk to them daily, pray for them often. I just needed to sit. By the time I found my way to a park I hadn’t visited since childhood I was deflated, until I asked for the lesson or some help.

A sudden reminder, if you’re getting nowhere there is nowhere to go.