Testimonies Claimed and Delivered

Declare Victory First

Happy and Blessed Moon Day!

I found the words I was looking for yesterday, and amen.

Once upon a time I was standing on my little porch facing the wind and feeling unsure. It was early 2020, I was preparing to leave my job and trying to trust what were rapidly evolving and changing spiritual gifts. “Steadfast.” It was Archangel Raphael. “Steadfast'/be steadfast/hold strong/be steady” all as one delivered thought. I didn’t know it at the time but this would become a personal reminder, a carrying phrase.

This year, my life took an unexpected turn. The home my love and I moved into was full of mold that was making me sick. The week it all came to a head was the same week my job changed drastically, which began to exacerbate immune responses. I remember standing in my kitchen, tired, sad, and honestly just in a space of near despair. I’ve experienced a lot of housing changes, and seem to often get a massive bundle of things happening at one time. It was overwhelming. I was standing in the kitchen, getting ready to make a little cocktail on tik tok, when I heard the reminder. “Testimony. Just claim the testimony now and ride the rest out.” I said something to that effect in the video, too. Just claim this moment as a testimony assured, as a victory. In the middle of the process try not to let despair gain any ground, guard your spirit, and be steadfast. These were ancestral messages and they have carried me.

I share this for two reasons: to remind you, and to remind me. A somewhat personal struggle is that changes with my body and other circumstances have taken me farther and farther from my own hopes and expectations about motherhood. I find myself having to address sadness before I can share joy with others, and having to do work to keep out a sense of bitterness that is trying to grow. This past week I was blessed to show my family my new home, somewhere truly beautiful. The testimony! The victory! A reminder to me that my hopes of my own family and having certain experiences is not forgone, but rather in-process. When the craziness happened earlier this year, there was a literal storm. We had to emergency move, move our cat, and then on the way home an actual hellish storm came up. Upon arrival to my grandparents’ everything calmed. My Gramma walked out holding a small charm purchased years ago, a silver cross adorned with an enamel swirl. The tiny card in the plastic bag called it the Eye of the Storm charm. I laughed and cried a little all at once. The reminder for us both, for all of us, is that things will come to pass if we believe it and allow it. Patience, commitment to the goal in the face of changing circumstances, and continuing to work on your end are really all it takes.